336: Creating Confidence Your Way With Tulica Singh

Tulica Singh began her career writing and filming in between bartending and waitressing shifts in New York City. In two

years she created 30 shorts, before deciding to pursue graduate school. In 2012 she was accepted into USC’s School of Cinematic Arts. Her short film Dream Girl was screened in 8 festivals including the academy qualifying Palm Springs International Film Festival, winning awards for best comedic short. Her web series Croissant Man has been in over 25 festivals sweeping categories and winning over 15 awards, including the prestigious Vimeo Staff Pick, best web series and outstanding writing. She is currently writing a film about Indian warrior princesses and a series about a girl with a mustache.

Tulica shares what her realizations are when it comes to creating confidence. Instead of relying on what confidence is supposed to look like, she started doing things her own way that makes sense to her which in turn increased her confidence to a whole new level.

Bio

Tulica is a writer and director.

Cultural Background

Tulica is of Indian and French descent.

Favorite Self Confidence Quote

Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles, it empties today of its strength.

Definition of Self Confidence

The ability to value yourself when you fail.

Her Life Before the Discovery of Self Confidence

At times when Tulica felt low, she was very scared and hard on herself. She felt she was not using her opportunities to her advantage and became paralyzed with fear. Then when Tulica interacted with other people, she let them go first. She would go by their schedule, do what they want to do.

It can be tricky because all of these actions seem polite, and at times they are, but when you are in a place of low confidence you do them because you think everyone else is worth more than you. So you let someone else go first because they look busier and need to order before you. You let someone take your seat because you are lazy and should let someone else that is probably doing more have a rest. You do whatever your friend wants to do because they have more important things to do than you. And those small actions begin to make you feel small as well.

The “AHA” Moment

Tulica would hear people talk about confidence, and how attractive or necessary it is. But talking about it made the idea abstract and all the more elusive. The more she heard about it the more she had to break it down and study what confidence actually meant.

She started small and read a book called “self-esteem for dummies” and then got the cognitive behavioral workbook for self-esteem. Tulica examined this concept for awhile and was waiting to just “be better”, but in the process learned that building confidence involved very simple day to day activities. Exercising, eating well, cleaning your house, wearing nice clothes. Things that seem very monotonous.

Tulica realized she can be confident without thinking about it. That it’s not a different way of being confident and let it come naturally instead of forcing it because confidence is within her.

Her Life After the Discovery of Self Confidence

Tulica has her highs and lows but she is now better at remembering the little steps. She cares less about what people think by realizing that most of the time they are not even talking about her anyway which gives her the freedom to be herself.

The One Self Confidence Tip For the Listener

The first step is a routine. Take at least an hour our of your day, preferably in the morning, to shut everyone out and have some “me time”. Take that time for: Exercise, meditation, journaling, finding your passion, taking it day by day and seeking help.