91: Stop Comparing Yourself To Others With Amanda Kingsmith

Amanda Kingsmith is a writer and a yoga teacher. She also runs a successful podcast with her boyfriend. She is living the Stop Comparing Yourself To Others With Amanda Kingsmithlife of her dreams.

But Amanda had to go through so many obstacles with herself since she was always comparing herself to others thinking that is what self confidence is all about.

Because of this it led her down a path that she wasn’t happy with. In this episode, you will find out what Amanda did to stop comparing herself to others.

Bio

Amanda Kingsmith self-employed yoga teacher, writer, and co-host for The World Wanderers Podcast.

Cultural Background

Amanda is born and raised in Cochrane, Alberta, Canada, and has lived in Canada all her life.

Favorite Self Confidence Quote

The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me?

The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me?

Definition of Self Confidence

Believing in who you are as a person without the needing other people’s validation of yourself or your values. Living without comparison or fear of judgment.

Her Life Before the Discovery of Self Confidence

Amanda lived in a world where she thought she had good self-confidence. On the outside she had it all, she’s pretty, smart, had many friends and had a great job.  On the inside, she hated myself, although the hate was entirely unconscious. Amanda had extremely poor body image and was always relying on other people for her self worth, or comparing herself to other people physically. When she felt like someone was skinnier or prettier than her, she would strive to be like them by going to the gym more or eating less. She was addicted to being better than other people and it led her down an extremely unhealthy path. She also had a bad relationship with food, and she used food as a way to punish herself for things she felt bad or guilty about.

The “AHA” Moment

Amanda’s boyfriend encouraged her to listen to Nathaniel Branden’s “The 6 Pillars of Self Esteem”. She remembers listening to it on a plane from Lima to Iquitos in Peru, and Branden says something about “pseudo self-esteem”, which is when we convince ourselves that we are someone that we aren’t. We suffer from low self-esteem and self-confidence, but we convince ourselves otherwise. She had this moment where she was certain that Branden was talking to her and ONLY her.  He was describing her life to a tee. It was in that moment that she realized what a miserable emotional state she was in and how physically unhealthy she had become. She finished the book, and worked through all of the exercises in it. She’s now listened to the book 3 times and continues to choose exercises to do daily.

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Her Life After the Discovery of Self Confidence

Amanda feels free. There is so much freedom in being confident in herself.  She didn’t realize how stressful it was always trying to be someone that other people wanted her to be. Now, she eats how she wants, she dresses how she wants, and she doesn’t wear makeup, unless it’s a special occasion. She takes comfort in being alone and is confident in her ability to be strong and independent. She has found a genuine love for who she is as a person, and she’s realized that that’s all she really needs.

The One Self Confidence Tip For the Listener

Be patient with yourself and have compassion for the times when being confident is hard.  Remember that you are only human, and that you are a constant work in progress. Change doesn’t happen overnight and it’s sort of like trying to swim through molasses. It’s hard and sticky and sometimes it feels really hard, but it’s so worth the challenges. Surround yourself with people who support your journey, and rid your life of people who want to bring you down.  Love your body and your mind. You will never be perfect, so embrace your imperfect perfectness.

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