58: Experience is the Best Teacher With Tavia Wong

Tavia Wong is a student and owns 2 successful businesses at the young age of 21. For someone so young, Tavia has overcome so many obstacles in her life from weight problems to being in debt in her business.

Find out the life lessons she has learned in her life that you can apply to your journey to self confidence.

Bio

Tavia Wong owns two companies in Singapore, a marketing consulting firm and a logistics company.

Cultural Background

Tavia is of Chinese descent born and raised in Singapore.

Favorite Self Confidence Quote

You are the person you want to be (if you are not where you want to be yet, you will get there). And everything you need is already within you (you are good enough, smart enough, capable enough). Everything will happen for my highest good (divine wisdom keeps me safe and works for me, not against me).

Definition of Self Confidence

Self confidence has 2 components which are being lovable and being capable.

Her Life Before the Discovery of Self Confidence

Tavia’s insecurities translated into jealousy of other women, jealousy of good relationships, of grades and more.
In Singapore, they have this term called “kiasu”- fear of missing out. Tavia’s happiness was pegged to how well others seem to be doing in comparison.

The “AHA” Moment

Tavia struggled with her weight for most of her life so people assumed she was lazy. To prove that she was productive she channeled her energy by getting good grades in school

Even though she got good grades and went to one of the top schools in Singapore, Tavia stopped trying to get good grade because she was comparing herself to the other students who were smarter than her.

One day, Tavia realized that she was done competing with other people because she knew if she kept on competing and comparing herself to others, it will never end.

When Tavia, let go of comparing herself to others, that is when she was free for the first time from the validation of others.

Her Life After the Discovery of Self Confidence

For Tavia, life after the discovery was liberating for her because she realized she doesn’t have to be loud or try to prove your achievements to the world.

Self confidence was quiet but more enduring. With all the obstacles she has faced at such a young age, it just made her stronger than ever.

Tavia is not always confident but she always finds ways to improve herself to keep on going on her journey. She has come far from the girl who always compared herself to others.

The One Self Confidence Tip For the Listener

Self-confidence like an onion. The first layer is the external (physical) self confidence has to do with posture, the way you carry yourself, your clothes, your speech. You can get a coach, get books, go for a facial or hairdo to get this level of confidence, or work out, look hot.

The second layer of confidence is the Ability layer: this has to do with skills set, your grades, how good you are at the piano, how great you are at financials, investing, public speaking, managing people, cooking, or of a certain sport. You can build this layer too, by continually investing in self-education and by developing skill through practice, experience.

The last layer of confidence- is core confidence. This is the kind of confidence where if you get into a car crash. bam, your face is disfigured, you lost your limbs, you can’t work out anymore, you can’t play the piano anymore. You have no external confidence and no ability, but you still have a core of a being. This is probably your soul, your brain and your heart. The deep set belief that you are still worth something infinitely valuable, that is unchanged by circumstances.