276: Learn To Say No With Victoria Namkung

For more than 15 years, Victoria Namkung been a Los Angeles-based author,  journalist, essayist, and cultural commentator. Learn To Say No With Victoria NamkungHer writing has been published in the Los Angeles TimesNBC Asian AmericaHuffington PostVICEWashington PostUSA TodayxoJaneInStyle, and Los Angeles magazine, among other publications.  Her debut novel, The Things We Tell Ourselves (Standard Time Press), examines the damage that one generation can do to the next and the compromises we make between our ideals and life’s realities.

Victoria would use to sacrifice her feelings in order to be nice to everyone.  When she learned how to say no to things that did not serve her and her purpose, that is when she started her own journey of know what she truly wanted in life.  Check out her episode as Victoria shares her story.


Victoria Namkung is a writer and author.

Cultural Background

Victoria is of Irish and Korean descent.

Favorite Self Confidence Quote

Remain humble, but still let these motherfuckers know.

Remain humble, but still let these motherfuckers know.

Definition of Self Confidence

A combination of knowing you can do things well and realizing you are just as important as anyone else on this planet.

Her Life Before the Discovery of Self Confidence

Victoria was actually a very confident child and teenager. In her 20s as she was figuring out life and what she wanted, she definitely had moments of self-doubt and alienation. She often diminished her own success or would deflect compliments and had a hard time being direct.

The “AHA” Moment

Something definitely changed in Victoria’s thirties. She realized that she was so busy being so nice to everyone that she was sacrificing her own feelings. She went from someone who hated confrontation to being confrontational, when necessary. The single most freeing thing is being able to say “no” rather than just going along with everyone else.

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Her Life After the Discovery of Self Confidence

It’s a freeing experience for sure. Victoria has a long enough career to know she is good at what she does and she is not intimidated by much these days. Confidence gave her the courage to design a life that she truly loves. It’s what allowed her to finally write her first novel. You have to be confident to believe that people should read what you have to say.

The One Self Confidence Tip For the Listener

Don’t wait for someone to give you permission to do something or be the person who you want to be. Stop diminishing your success and accept compliments when they are given. Hang out with women who are 10 or even 20 years older.

Interview Links

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