577: A Conversation To Confidence With Rachel Kong

Rachel Kong is the Chief Executive Officer of Success Options Inc., a publishing company for many years that just recently transformed and evolved into a training and development provider. She graduated Multi-Media Arts from the College of Saint Benilde. As she grew up surrounded by family who’s well versed in entrepreneurship, she has been in different businesses on and off with her siblings while still in high school. She took up Apologetics and Philosophy at Oxford University and is very active in a group called “Everyday Apologetics.” Rachel is also youngest daughter of a well-known inspirational speaker, businessman, entrepreneur, business consultant, columnist and book author in the Philippines named Francis Kong.

Rachel shares the moment she was able to start to build her confidence and become the powerful Asian woman that she is today through a conversation with her father. She also shares her tips that can help you in your own journey to self confidence.

Bio

Rachel Kong is the Chief Executive Officer of Success Options Inc.

Cultural Background

Rachel is of Chinese and Filipina descent.

Favorite Self Confidence Quote

Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny.

Definition of Self Confidence

Courage is only realized and lived the moment we get to see fear and uncertainty face to face. Confidence is found after the dawn breaks through experience and growth in knowledge of the self that was tested.

Her Life Before the Discovery of Self Confidence

Rachel grew up studying in a Chinese school and she had a hard time. She failed a lot, disappointed many people, and, as a result, was embarrassed of her failures. She found that the term “faking it till you make it” didn’t apply in these situations because no matter how hard she tried to “fake it”, she would come home to face the mirror knowing that in reality, she didn’t.

It took her a while to get over this debilitating, heart-crushing defeat and, safe it say, it was a huge blow to her confidence.

The “AHA” Moment

Rachel’s “AHA” moment was strangely during a conversation she had with her dad. He’s a well known businessman, consultant, speaker-trainer and he’s authored 19 books to date. She had just come home crushed and feeling deeply ashamed and humiliated from failing english grammar because she was the daughter of such a well known, well respected man in the industry.

Rachel remembers this clearly, like it happened yesterday.

They were seated in one of the booths of a restaurant in manila. He opened the menu and ordered for the both of us. Then, as if time decided to extend her deep horror and nervousness, he slowly closed the menu and looked at me.

That’s when he started to ask me questions.

“What happened? How do you feel?” Those types of questions.

It was strange being put on the spot then. She was expecting to be scolded, not to be asked questions and to be given a voice.

Basically, she told him that she had a hard time with her exams. Rachel is the type that does well in essays, but when it comes to memorization and identification, she blanked out.

Now, her father’s response was the ‘breakthrough’ she needed before she got to her journey of slowly getting her confidence.

Her father said “Sweetheart, your father has written so many books, I speak to an average of 300 talks a year, until now… I still don’t fully understand grammar!”

This blew her mind.

He continued. “Now, I have people who are good at grammar, and I need them and they help, but I am still able to write.”

This might have been unconventional, and probably a risk on his part, because she could have taken it as an “Ok” to failing but that’s not the case.

Rachel’s father, who went through similar things as she went through growing up, knew that’s what she needed then wasn’t a “push” but a “Pull” from above. She was at her lowest point and she couldn’t get up on her own. She needed help. A, sort of, ‘light’ in the dark road she was travelling on planted by someone who has been there, and has done that.

That ‘light’ was what many people would say “Hope” for her and that seed of hope grew into what can be called “Confidence”.

Her Life After the Discovery of Self Confidence

Since then, knowing and seeing for herself that adversities can be overcome, Rachel pushed through and concentrated on doing well on the things that she did well. Basically concentrate on the strengths she had and then work on her weaknesses. She found herself surrounded by ‘experts’ and experienced people who she learned many things from and tried to make them into her benchmark.

Since then, trials and hardships came and went, but experience, the support she gets from the people around her and knowledge has helped her continue pushing through.

The One Self Confidence Tip For the Listener

Self confidence is a journey. It’s not a place a person can instantly teleport to just by closing their eyes and choosing to believe. It’s a long and hard journey that needs a lot of self discovery to achieve. Questions like: “who am i?” “Where did I come from?” “Why am I here?” “Where am I going?”

“who am I?” A question of Identity. “Where did I come from?” A question of origin. “Why am I here?” A question of purpose. “Where am I going?” A question of destiny.

Finding answers to these questions can be hard, but it’s a fulfilling journey to go through. Slowly, once these questions are answered and found, you’ll likely find yourself more grounded and assured of your own footing.

Don’t be afraid of fear. It’s fear that makes your confidence a reality. CS Lewis says this really well “Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point”. Let courage push you through.

Forgiveness plays a big role in that journey as well. Forgiveness and acceptance of your own imperfections and learning to ask for help when you need it. Rachel firmly believes that God created us as relational beings, people who need other people to survive. It takes a confident person to ask for a helping hand when there’s a need for it, and at the same time, it takes a confident person who is willing to help and teach other people what they know.