622: Give Up Negative Self Talk With Justine Wentzell

Justine Wentzell is an author and an advocate. She is a native Angeleno, who loves tea, travel, making people laugh and feel loved, learning languages, is loyal to her sports teams, and believes that the only way to make your own magic in life is to be the leading lady (or man) of your life. She earned her B.A. at the University of California, Santa Barbara in Global and International Studies, and her J.D. from Whittier Law School. After starting her career in the music industry and then working at an independent film studio for several years, Justine set off on her own to consult for other companies. She is also bringing people and cultural insights through her website Love, Justine and her vlog Tea with Justine, as a platform for her activism and a way to connect people all around the world.

Justine shares how giving up negative self talk has allowed her to love herself unconditionally and be the confident woman that she is today. Check out her episode to listen to her story.

Bio

Justine Wentzell is an author and an advocate.

Cultural Background

Justine is of Taiwanese and Chinese descent.

Favorite Self Confidence Quote

Be Shameless.

Definition of Self Confidence

Self-confidence is realizing and accepting we’re only human and owning every part of our story by letting go of any shame, guilt, or anger we may feel towards certain parts of our lives or ourselves. When you can own everything about you, nothing and no one can stop you.

Her Life Before the Discovery of Self Confidence

Before discovering true self-confidence, Justine was generally a confident person. She thinks some of that was learned through her acting classes growing up. She just pretended to be confident in situations that terrified her or made her nervous, such as public speaking, and that sometimes transformed into true confident. It’s like, think confident, be confident! Some of that confidence was also in her ability to do good work. However, what hindered herself from being fully self-confident were her issues with worrying about other’s judgment, wanting everyone to like her, and as common with many, her own body image issues. Body image issues are tough to deal with and she thinks is a lifelong journey, because there is always someone telling us what our physical flaws are and there will always be days we just simply feel like a sack of potatoes. Through her life experiences though, she has learned that you simply cannot please everyone and you don’t have to be liked by everyone. It’s kind of exhausting try to please and be friends with everyone.

The “AHA” Moment

Justine has had a few AHA moments haha. One happened shortly after she had gotten out of a really abusive relationship, which she writes about in her book “Pocket Full of Dreams.” Justine and her family decided to go to Paris and London for a getaway, and it was as soon as she stepped foot on Parisian soil, that suddenly everything seemed to click back into place in her mind and body, and it was like the heavens were opening up above her to say, “What am I doing? This is my life and I have so much life to live—I need to take back the reigns to my own life and OWN my life.” She made a conscious decision to live her life to the fullest, and just making that decision set a confident tone for how she was going to live her life that point onward.

She also mentioned body image being an issue for her, and it was a few years ago when she and her husband were in RCIA together, which is like adult class for Catholic Confirmation. They were both baptized as babies, but never completed the other sacraments to be “fully Catholic,” and because they wanted to get married in the Church, they did RCIA together so that they could have a Catholic wedding. It was during this course, that it suddenly hit her. First, she wanted her husband to always think she is beautiful and be attracted to her, but how can he do that if she doesn’t feel that way? If she is always negative about her body, that negative energy will eventually wear him down and no matter how much he tells her how beautiful she is and that he loves her, it won’t matter. So, she knew that she had to love herself so that he could love her too, or at least so she could fully feel his love. Secondly, she also thought, God loves her SO MUCH, and how could she hate something he created and loves so unconditionally? As they prepared for Lent that year, Justine decided the thing she was going to give up was negative self-talk and that is something she constantly practices now. She is not always great at it, but she will always stop herself or apologize to herself if she said something negative towards to herself.

Her Life After the Discovery of Self Confidence

Life is freer for Justine since she is living her own life.

The One Self Confidence Tip For the Listener

Forgive yourself. Especially as women, we are always thinking of everyone else, but remember to take care of yourself and forgive yourself. You can’t love and take care of everyone else, before you love and take care of yourself. Women, we’re incredibly strong despite what society has tried to tell us for a long time; and when we love ourselves, our strength is limitless.