690: Choose Love Over Fear With Christine Chen

Christine Chen a life coach who also hosts two podcasts (xoxo christine and Perfectly Imperfect with her co-host Regina Fang). She has been through twists and turns throughout her life to end up here, helping others show up as their best selves to live their best lives. Christine has been an event planner, producer, and content creator. The common thread is that she wants to help elevate her community (women and Asian Americans) in terms of self growth, development and conscious living.

Christine shares how her life has changed for the better when she decided to choose love over fear. Check out her episode to listen to her story.

Bio

Christine Chen is a life coach and podcast host.

Cultural Background

Christine is of Taiwanese descent.

Favorite Self Confidence Quote

You are exactly where you need to be.

Definition of Self Confidence

Self confidence is understanding we are all connected. You are a mirror to everyone else as everyone else is a mirror to you. We are not isolated beings with the sole intention of just looking out for ourselves. If we’re able to tap into that understanding that if that person is triggering you for your benefit and self growth as well as a place of self wound on their part, then the answer is always love. With love, things become limitless and infinite. It all stems from love. We are made of love with the purpose to emit love onwards and outwards for it to spread exponentially. So when you show up as who you are, who we all are, then you are exactly where you need to be doing what you are supposed to be doing… and that is love (and the birth of confidence and empowerment).

Her Life Before the Discovery of Self Confidence

Christine was in a deep depression for 3+ years, in a state of ongoing and perpetual resentment, anger, and unwillingness to let things go. She thought she had done what she was supposed to do but it ultimately led to a full out burnout (mentally, physically and emotionally) because she could no longer pretend to be someone she wasn’t anymore. She overcompensated because she never believed she was enough. She doubted and questioned herself because she didn’t trust her truth. She was self critical because she internalized other noises and opinions that weren’t hers but she accepted as truth.

The “AHA” Moment

For Christine, it all starts with your thoughts. It influences how she sees the world, how others “react to her,” the decisions she makes. It’s all skewed from her perspective influenced by her upbringing, environment, and experiences. But as easily as she has accepted that perspective as truth, she can CHOOSE to believe the opposite as well. So choose what serves you because you can stack evidence to prove either side. That she was choosing fear over love. When she traces everything back to its source, it came down to those two choices. Is she doing it because of fear or because of love? And most times, it was because of fear. And what was she truly afraid of? Getting to the heart and soul of that issue. Was she afraid of rejection?

Also the key to a breakthrough is recognizing self judgement and substituting curiosity and self kindness.

Her Life After the Discovery of Self Confidence

It changed everything for Christine. That mental shift gave her that breakthrough she was longing for even though none of her external circumstances changed. So many of her clients (and her old self as well) say if only that OTHER person changed or if I got this ______, then things would be different. No. Because how you see the world, that lens is still the same.

She started her own life coaching business, reconciled a lot of relationships that she had given up on, she is engaged, has the best relationship with her parents, and she feels the most herself in her self truth and purpose.

The One Self Confidence Tip For the Listener

Learning to trust your truth. It’s there. It’s always been there. It’s just sifting through the noise that we’ve internalized along the way. Stay curious. It’s a process. It’s like building a mental muscle. But knowing fully that you are here for a reason and you can cause a ripple of affect of love or triggers. It’s up to you. Empowerment comes when you can stand in your self truth and detach from whatever happens. As you realize how powerful, valuable, and extremely needed your voice is to create change in the world that only YOU can do, that burning flame inside you will only grow stronger and stronger within. With that mindset, you’ll step into your truest self and impact others around you on a level that creates visible shifts in their lives.